Good Energy Spinning

(will be posted to both of my profiles)

Much time has gone by since I’ve written anything here, and as is so true, with time comes change. And change has certainly been happening for me, and it’s all GOOD.

My “Personal Life”

Not many people know the story of me and my children from my first marriage. Without going into a lot of details, I left that marriage in 1977 with nothing but some clothes in a paper bag.. Not even my children (which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done), who were 4 (Heather) and 6 (Christian) at the time. Barely able to financially survive myself, on my own, it was the best… and only thing I could do for them. I knew that with mother in law in the same town, they would never go hungry and always have a roof over their head. And so, as with many divorces things “went bad”… and communication with my children eventually became impossible. All I could do (for the next more than 10 years) was have the hope that one day they would, on their own, seek me out to get to know the “real” me.

My daughter was the first. I was blessed (yes, I say blessed) to be around her when she was a wild teenager (15 years old) and doing things she shouldn’t lol… this while she came to live with my second husband and me. And then she was gone for too many years….

The last contact I had with my son was when he graduated from high school. I was “allowed” to go to his graduation and even see him afterward, then a few phone calls, and then he was gone… for many years.

Then out of the blue, I received a phone call from Heather (well, not directly lol) and we reconnected in 1996, not long before she was to be married. Our relationship grew, and today our bond and love for each other knows no bounds. We have a very, very deep connection that is uniquely special to say the least (if she‘s reading this, she knows exactly what I mean lol). She has grown to be a beautiful woman both inside and out.

And now, after 20 years of hoping and waiting, my son chose to have contact with me over the holidays at the end of last year. I can’t even explain the emotions I felt when I heard he wanted this. So far we have had quite a few phone conversations (I can just hear those who know me… “Kathy? On the PHONE???” lmao). Things are progressing slowly, in a positive way. And even before the first call, we had both decided it would be best to leave his “burning questions” for a later time. He will be 38 in February…

The Me At Work

I’m writing this now as a draft in a MS Word program, and am not sure which MSN profile I may have already discussed my job (if at all lol), and don’t want to stop now to look and see. So briefly, I started my job as a trainee in 1978, and after 2 or 3 years moved into a department that I knew I’d enjoy, as it required me to learn ALOT and the work itself could be a real challenge. By about the late 80’s I was running it. I think one of the major advantages I had was being there when we finally joined the world of computers, and wanting to know how all my work “stuff” worked in it. So being the curious type, I learned a lot on my own about that too, and it has served me well.

In October of last year I was given the title of Senior Tax Specialist, and two weeks ago was offered the position of Assistant Tax Manager… and I accepted it. I’ve spent the time since then moving things into my new office. Now, ya gotta understand that over the years we’ve moved from one building to another (we’re in the third now), and my desk and work area have moved more than a couple of times. I’ve been at my (current? last? My new position is “official” on Monday) desk for… hmmm… at least 12 or 13 years? And I’ve had a bad habit of accumulating a lot of “stuff” lmao. So the moving part has been a major production. I’ve filled a large trash bin at least 3 times now lol… I refuse to take the packrat mentality with me rofl. I had left word that my computer could be moved Thursday night, so on that day, after work I stopped at the store to buy two cakes as a positive gesture for everyone on the floor (people in our office LOVE to eat lol). Then, Friday morning, (yesterday) I was really surprised to see a large sheetcake with a message of congratulations on it for me :D.

Another thing ya gotta understand is that this change is a bit scary. I’m going from a specialty job in which I knew everything, to something where things will be unfamiliar (areas of knowledge that have changed a lot since I dealt with them long ago). But I think being a little scared is a good thing, because if I remember correctly, 28 years ago when I went into another department, I was just scared enough to want to learn everything there was to know about it.

I’ve already told my online sisters about all this… and I’m not sure why I felt the need to put it here… but I feel even better now. This year was off to such a good start… and lately I’ve actually been feeling “uplifted” with a lot of positive energy.

When I came up with the title for this post, it reminded me of what I learned years ago about the Lakota’s Spinning of the Pipe which is done in the month of March. During that, things are shared from past, present and future so one can “turn a new leaf” as some say. I guess wanting to share something positive can only be good… and I will do my best to do better with communicating with those I love and hold close, and I will continue to have good thoughts about those who have drifted away.

Mitakuye Oyas’in